Have you ever walked into a store and forgotten what you were going to buy, or why you walked in to the establishment in the first place? Have you ever put something down somewhere thinking it would be the perfect place to put that thing so you wouldn’t forget… and then promptly forget where that place was? Or what it was you put there? Or when you thought it would be a perfact place? Or how to spell perfect?
Apparently it happens to everyone at some point for various reasons. Some factors could be age, sleep deprivation, stress, a case and a half of Schlitz, or something shiny/fuzzy/naked that catches your eye. I read that somewhere, but I forget where that was. I think there was a study done too… or something…
Did I leave the oven on before I left the house? No… no I didn’t, that’s right, I had half a bag of expired Doritos and a packet of mustard for lunch, I didn’t use the oven.
What were we talking about?
Oh ya. I forgot, we’re talking about that thing that I forgot about.
So I went to the doctor to see if there was something wrong with me.
“Dude! I seem to be forgetting things these days, I keep misplacing stuff and thoughts just slip my memory. I think I have the senile.”
“Ok, first off, is there any history of this kind of thing in your family?”
“I don’t think so… actually I CAN’T REMEMBER!!! Was I supposed to remember this? Oh God!”
“Calm down, calm down. It could be because of lifestyle, or lack of certain nutrients. Do you get enough zinc? You could start taking some Ginkgo biloba or another supplement to help.”
“How do I get more zinc? Chew on my pocket change? And isn’t Kinky Balboa that wrestler with the really big hair. I forget.”
“Do you get enough sleep every night?”
“I’m supposed to sleep EVERY night?”
“That could be your problem. You could also just get some tests done. Blood, urine, stool, MRI, CAT scan, and maybe a biopsy of your brain.”
“Maybe I’ll just stick with the zinc and Binky Cordoba, I’m not comfortable with you scooping out my brain material. Thanks doc.”
“No problem. And you know I’m not a doctor, I’m a bartender.”
“Whatever, you give good advice. Give me another Crème de Menthe and Red Bull and charge it to my Blue Cross.”
“We can’t do that. And your choice of aperitif may be part of your problem. I told you that last time.”
“Ya, I remember.”
“There ya go! You’re getting better already!”
I think I’ll be fine in the long run, and this is just a part of getting older, but sometimes it’s annoying when you take the time to pack a lunch of mustard flavoured Doritos and Red Bull and forget it on the counter beside your keys and the oven that you left on…
There was something else I was going to say… but I forget.