Monthly Archives: August 2012

“Legitimate” logic.


When I think about politicians the word logic comes to mind, along with contemporary thinking, compassion, and truth.

Wait…

That came out wrong…

I should rephrase that…

When I think about “legitimate” politicians the word “logic” comes to mind, along with “contemporary thinking”, “compassion”, and “truth”.

Ya, that’s better.

Now that the word “legitimate” is a meme, it has taken on new meaning. “Legitimate” now has no legitimacy, and all of the ideas that have no basis in fact can come to the forefront. I don’t need any science or statistics or proof to back up any of my ludicrous ideas any more. All I need to do is add this word to the beginning of a sentence and I can say anything!

This “legitimate” logic will come in SO handy, I love it. I can “legitimately” rationalize anything now! It’s awesome!

Here are a few new ways that I am going to think from now on:

– “Legitimate” smoking rarely causes cancer because the cool gene doesn’t care.
– “Legitimate” fast food rarely causes obesity because the hamburgler cells steal fat.
– “Legitimate” blows to the head rarely cause brain damage because the coach says so.
– “Legitimate” trans-fat rarely causes heart disease because the potato chip enzyme prevents it.
– “Legitimate” heart disease rarely causes death because TV says death is cool.
– “Legitimate” steroids rarely causes shrinkage because… LOOK AT MY MUSCLES
– “Legitimate” politics rarely cause stupidity…. oh wait, I already said that at the beginning.

The possibilities are endless! We can now apply “legitimacy” to anything.

– “Legitimate” Toronto Maple Leafs rarely lose a game.
– “Legitimate” reality TV shows are rarely exploitative.
– “Legitimate” subways are rarely crowded.
– “Legitimate” chemicals are rarely bad for us.
– “Legitimate” retail giants are rarely driven by profits.
– “Legitimate” lottery ticket are rarely losers.
– “Legitimate” polar bear hugging is rarely dangerous.

These new “legitimate” guidelines are going to change my life, I can’t wait to start using this new school of logic, all because a politician tried to give a heinous crime “legitimacy”…

Although later, he said that he misspoke.

A white rightwing vaginally deficient politician speaking nonsense about women’s issues and rights… that is so “rare” these days.

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